Saturn, the Father, represents limits and boundaries. Since each orbit takes about 28 and a half years, believers designate the three-year period before a person’s thirties is when you contend with everything that has become before it, or fail to.

Saturn Return recalls Freud’s “return of the repressed,” and coincides with the etiology of mental illness: if you’re meant to be mentally ill, you’ll know by your late 20s, statistically speaking. Maybe by this biological coincidence, the Saturn Return is one of few occult theories that feels true to me.

Before the return I had felt the past as an undeniable thing, a blue-black heat radiating out from my center through the fattest and fastest wires to tell me something that had gone wrong. It was distinct, and therefore fixable, even if I did not understand its underlying physics.

But suddenly the details had been lost, the feelings impossible to recall without those details, and most distressingly I had the sense that I could not recreate those feelings in another. And if I could, I knew it would be in a form unrecognizable to me: I would have to find the key without looking for it, and in spite of myself. Or just in spite: surrounded by snakeskin, I had waited a little too long to join the club.

an art project is an SF-based art project. I bought the domain name last year and it gets 200 weekly views. I don’t know why.

I currently use the site to host secret poetry, but I’d rather turn it into a zine, a set of t-shirt designs, or something else. Reach out if you want to collaborate on something or if you want to hang out.